Mending and Ruminating

I’ve had my surgery. Ouch! Is the pain really supposed to be this bad? I thought they fixed it. Don’t mind me. Whenever I have surgery, I want the instant relief. Nothing in life works that way, but a girl can dream. It’s been over four weeks, and I know I have a long way to go. It’s just really hard not having the use of both arms.

This seems like a good time to share some things with you. I’m somewhat of an inspirational blogger on Cheshire.patch.com.  So, for the next few posts, I’ll share my favorites from The Patch.

Feel free to tell me what you think. And if you dare, share a related story.

I share this favorite first because I need to be reminded of how far I have come since that day in Marshalls. These thoughts still apply and the remembrance will help me survive my recovery process – which I loathe. Recovery is not fun.

In Reaching Distance

Posted on September 10, 2011 at 7:02 pm

 

During a few conversations with acquaintances and an editor, I was told, “why not consider being a motivational speaker or a life coach.”

I immediately thought, “Me?” What could I possibly offer someone, in terms of advice that is? Then I began to listen to myself as I spoke to friends and family. That’s when it hit me. I am a hopeful, inspirational voice in my circle.

So, now (in this blog) I venture out to share this voice with all that will listen – or read.

I’m a single mother of an estranged 20-year-old son, a displaced worker and a somewhat educated unmarried freelance writer. And yet, I am vehemently optimistic about my future. I have my bad days, like we all do. But most days, my goal is not to let the negative things in my life burden me to the point of insanity.

It’s all in the approach – the outlook. Regardless of where I am in my life, I do have a goal – a well laid out plan of attack. And each day, I awake with enthusiasm. Okay, maybe enthusiasm is too strong of a word. How about a determination?

I am determined to matter. I am determined to be happy and make my stand. How I do that is all in the attentiveness of my actions. Something as simple as coming up with a plan and executing it, whether or not I ultimately reach my goal, can be a useful tool in combating bleak outlooks.

Looking back to a conversation with one of my acquaintances, my advice was pretty sound and clear. For putting it on paper’s sake, let’s call her Lisa.

Trying to find that perfect interview top or just something for every day, Lisa and I comb through Marshall’s clearance section, all the while hoping that nothing fits because we can’t afford it anyway. As we both reach the middle of the aisle, she starts telling me of all her unrewarded job efforts.

Being over 50, unemployed and seeing the constant news of layoffs, Lisa was feeling hopeless. “This is the first time in my life that I wasn’t able to find a job right away. I always wanted to be an artist growing up. My dad said I had to do something practical – like accounting. So, I listened to him. Now look where I am.”

As I looked at her in all her despair, I smiled and said, “life will get better for you.” As she looked back at me, probably thinking “is she crazy”, I continued to tell her, “You can only do what you can – no more. So find some balance in your life. Get up every day, spend some of your day looking for a job (internet, library, newspapers, phone calls, etc.) and then spend part of your day only doing things you enjoy. Let these things include: books by favorite authors, going back to school, volunteering, favorite TV shows, relaxing, fun exercises, time alone, time with friends, etc. Our economy seems hopeless, but that you can’t fix. A lot of people are in the same position. Look at this time in your life as a time of rediscovery. You can be whoever you want to be.”

I look at it this way: we all have dreams of what we would love to be doing in life. And, unless that includes being superman or wonder woman, I’m pretty sure they are obtainable. So, stay true to yourself and the dreams you once had and go for it. Maybe even put up a few post-it notes around the house: I have many talents, we are all good at something, I’m gonna take a chance on me, my life is still unfolding, I still have time, I can succeed, etc.

It’s all about vision. As someone once said, “Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible.”

So, no more “same old routine.” It’s time to make a list. What are you good at? What do you want to do in life? What can you work on right now?

Then every day, from now until infinity, let’s start checking things off that list.

http://cheshire.patch.com/users/melissa-flynn-3

 

 

 

Painfully Moving On

These last few weeks have been painful, and I mean that literally. Besides my ongoing shoulder issues, my left foot, my left ankle, my left hip and a bottom tooth have joined the ranks of ‘things that get on my nerves.’

Here is how it started.  A few weeks ago, I sat in my comfy chair – writing, as I do. Reclined with a window open, I enjoyed a bag of Stop and Shop brand Gummi Bears. I popped a red one in my mouth. Crunch?

“That’s weird.”

I ran to the bathroom mirror, only to see a bloody tooth hanging from the root. I guess that’s the last Gummi Bear that I will eat for a while. They were good though.

I’m sure you are thinking, “I need to know this because…?” Well, with my tooth extraction, tooth infection (dry socket) and the pain pills to heal me, my ‘moving on’ has been at a standstill.

That’s not 100% true. I am moving on in my relationships. I’ve told those who need to know that I’m done with the games. I’m done with the do-over’s.  I’m ready for the next chapter in my life.  Whether I like it or not, life is going to keep coming at me. As Grandma Malissia always said, “Life waits for no one.” So, ready or not, things will work out better if I join in.

It’s just the next apartment move that I haven’t done much with yet. I have another couple of months, but it will be here before I know it. And, this body of mine is not working with me. So, if anyone knows where I can get a new one, please share.

When I was 15 years old, I used to wish I could hurry and get older. That shows how much I knew. I had no idea that getter older meant physically getting older. I just thought it meant that I could make my own decisions; no one would be telling me what to do anymore. I could go to the store and buy whatever I wanted.  (That’s really funny, because I’m now thinking “with what money?”) I could see the world and meet famous people. NOT.

There should be a high school class called ‘What Life is Really Going to be like When You are an Adult.’

As an adult, I have seen the country and met lots of people – not necessarily famous people, just people. I don’t mean for that to sound trivial. I think people are what are important in this world. As I move on, I want to meet more people. That’s how you learn. And, I never want to stop learning.

Side note: The Middle and Modern Family — hilarious!

Anyway, as I was saying, I’m going to keep spreading the word that, pain and all, we must keep moving on and trying to see the world. Age is not supposed to be a hindrance to achieving ones goals. I think someone even said that “Life gets better with age.” Someone else said, “With age comes wisdom.” I guess I should meet these people and find out their secrets.

The holiday weekend upon us makes me think that most likely people are out there meeting new people, as I sit here typing. Obviously, I’m home. Not for long; as soon Tuesday gets here, I’m out. Things to do. People to see. Or, is it the other way around? Who knows?

So, for this weekend and post-surgery times to come, help me see the world through your eyes. Tell me where you have gone lately, and who you have talked to. Are you moving on? Or are you just moving? Either way, I’m curious.

I have a little over two weeks before my shoulder surgery, and I’m beginning to get really nervous. I feel like a kid who knows he is going to get a shot at the doctor’s office. My shoulder surgery is a bit more complicated than that, but the fear is the same. Part of my worry is the seclusion that comes afterwards. I think it might be bad if I were out driving after surgery with my left arm – seeing that I’m right-handed. Any thoughts? I’m a pro; I can handle it. I drive with my knees all the time. Oh, you know I’m just kidding, right?

I’ll be good though; I’ll stay in. But, my ‘moving on’ will continue. I may not be physically moving, but things still have to get sorted out. I’ll be searching for places and trying to find some money. By the way, I’m always open to ideas on where to find money. So, please don’t hold back on me. And, keep me in the loop with what’s going on. My mother always did say that I was the curious one.