NELSON MANDELA, December 5, 2013

WE LOVE YOU

WE LOVE YOU

By Melissa Flynn

Justice, Peace and Love. That is what he was all about.

Nelson Mandela. A man I never met, but I am feeling the loss. All I can hope for is that he knows what his sacrifices meant to me.

And though I have vowed to help others, in any way that I can, my heart feels as if it needs to do more.

Tell me what to do. Tell me if I am falling short. Tell me what I am supposed to tell my neighbors.

The only solace that I can find in his passing is that my mother will have her chance to say hello. I imagine them sitting to talk and have tea. I imagine my mom putting gel from her aloe plant on his scrapes and bruises. I imagine her pulling out her pictures and telling him about her kids.

I imagine them becoming friends!

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So here I share some of Mandela’s quotes. They are words that spoke to me. And so I share them with you. Read and share with your friends and loved ones.

And remember that we are all people, and should work together.

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“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” – Nelson Mandela

Our children are our greatest treasure. They are our future. Those who abuse them tear at the fabric of our society and weaken our nation. – National Men`s March, 1997

“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” – 90th birthday celebration of Walter Sisulu, Walter Sisulu Hall, Johannesburg, 18 May 2002

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” – Long Walk to Freedom

The time is always right to do right. – Nelson Mandela, “The 100 Best Things Ever Said by Men” in South Africa’s Men’s Health magazine, February 2002

“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”

When I walked out of prison, that was my mission, to liberate the oppressed and the oppressor both.

I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.
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A few of my favorites.

So what are you thinking?

WORDS TO REMEMBER, LITERALLY…

By Melissa Flynn

Office PicJune
Busy
Tired
Confused
Inspired
Home
Rowe
MA
Good
Inspirational Woman
May
WDRC
Shoulder
LWV
Embrace
The Sun
Sy Syfransky
Dent
Business Expo
Movers And Shakers, MAS
Moving On
Health and Wellness Symposium
Query
Agents
Memoir
Nervous
Happy
Love
Mommy

Just a few words while I’m moving on. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Dear Angels:

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A statement to the Newtown Angels By Melissa Flynn (Cheshire, CT)

I am so sorry. I am sorry that you had to leave us so soon. I am sorry that our world is filled with so many troubled souls.

Please know that you will be remembered, always. And as I move on in my life, I will think of the day that you left us as a day for us to learn from.

It is unfortunate that we need such hard lessons in life. It is unfortunate that you are not by our sides.

We never met, but I love you just the same. The tears that I have shed for you, and will continue to shed for you, are necessary tears. We must all shed a few tears before we can get to the next step in our process—our education of life.

You were our future. And with you gone, the path looks grim. But if those of us who are left can pull together, things will begin to illuminate.

Some feel it necessary to stay tuned to the noise of all the news. I, like many others, am spending my time trying to help in some way. So when I come home to meet you, I can tell you of how we made things better. I can tell you of how we put things in place, in order to deter the troubled ones from hurting others.

I find peace in knowing that you have moved on to a better place. And I pray that your families can too find peace again. I pray that they will reach out to the rest of us when they need a helping hand.

Please forgive us, Little Angels. And tell the Heroes that went home with you that they are loved and missed also.

Missed Moments as I Move On

Hello. It’s been a long month, and I’ve missed you all.

I’m unpacking and moving on. And once again, I wish my son were there by my side. I wish this for many reasons – mostly because I want to hold his hand and guide him through life. I want to help insure he succeeds at something. I want to be sure he doesn’t stumble in my footprints. But, as usual, he chooses to go it alone.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked my son to come and meet me.

“Why don’t you come out around 1pm? I’ll meet you at the library.”

“The needle is between E and ¼ of a tank.”

“I’ll give you a few dollars of gas to get back home.” I hesitate as I tell him this; he needs to work harder to support himself. He says he is grown and mature, but the evidence shows no signs of this.

He made it out. We talked, we laughed, and I gave him some gas money.

“I can come out to help you tomorrow or Friday.”

“Okay. That’s fine. I have so much to do. And, my shoulder and knee hinder me from getting much done.”

Thursday, Friday and Saturday passed. No sign of Cameron. No explanation. Calls and texts unreturned. What does that mean? What is he thinking? Will he ever come around? Will he ever be there to show his support?

My anger and I moved again, and Cam made it to help. He said he would return a few days later to help and no Cam again. I even texted him to tell him that I was sick with a fever and needed juice and soup. No Cam still.

I may be ranting a bit. But, it is cathartic; ranting is how I vent, and I vent to hide my hurt. I vent to make myself feel better about losing a friend. I vent so I won’t strangle my son. I vent so that his girlfriend can live. Okay. Maybe I went too far there. All life is sacred. But, as I was saying, I vent to not be so angry.

It’s natural to assume that a mother and son would help each other move, so you can understand my disappointment. The root of my hurt is more about what’s obviously missing in our relationship. It may seem as if I only need him, what I truly long for is for him to realize we need each other.  A mother’s love is the only unconditional love. And, though he may think I have some pre-planned agenda for his life, I only want to see him succeed at doing something that he loves. I only want to see that he thrives in this complicated world we live in. I only want him to survive the beating that the world is likely to give him. And though we don’t have to take on this world together, if we were a team, it would be much simpler.

As I ponder our relationship status, I’m reminded of another Cheshire Patch blog. So, I share once again. Before I do, I must say one thing. I love my son more than life.

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The two of us together.

Is he a reflection of me?

I Miss My Best Friend

Posted on September 26, 2011 at 2:13 pm

‘I’m not alone. I’m not alone. It will get better. Things will work out. He will come to his senses.’

This cathartic mantra has become a daily routine. This is what I tell myself while I sit home wondering what my young adult son is doing with his life.

Will he eventually allow me to help get him on track? Will he dump that girl? Will he have that life he deserves? Is he eating? Does he have clean clothes?

As parents, we have to find a way to move on and let our kids make their own mistakes. From experience I can tell you that it’s hard. It’s really hard. But, sometimes we just have to believe. We think that if they don’t follow yesterdays plan that tomorrow can’t happen. This is not so.

I miss him. I miss my friend. Being a single parent, we spent most of our time together. We went to movies. We hung out at the library and bookstores. We went to the beach. We went hiking. We even traveled across country together. I miss him. I love him, but I have to move on.

We don’t always think about what it was like to grow up. We tend to forget that we too once only lived for the moment. We too thought we would outlive our youth.

Lately, I have come to some realizations about my parental expectations. I usually think that it is his way or my way. But now, I’m trying to live somewhere in between that. I’m gonna stand back, watch from a distance and let him know that when and if he falls and calls out to me that I will be there.

My birthday and Mother’s Day have come and gone and all I’m left with is a voicemail message. I just wish he could fathom the pain and the emptiness that I feel as I ponder his current predicament. Is he taking care of his needs? Is he really happy?

I’ve been trying to figure this out. What do I do? How do I deal? Who do I go to for these answers? Is it possible to get over wanting to be involved in my son’s day to day? NO.

I just have to wake up every day, put my clothes on and try to live each day to the fullest. Once I acknowledge my limitations, I can then move on to other priorities in my life. Everyone has things that they once put aside to be a parent. So, I get back to making that list – that what-do-I-want-to-do-when-I-grow-up list.

By putting aside my family struggles and unintentional shortcomings, my emotional load is lighter. I just need to add some more lines to my mantra. ‘Rebelling is natural. Growing up is okay. We can’t control our children’s lives. We can’t force our children to understand what they aren’t ready to see.’

Parents try and use their experiences to help foresee the approaching doom. We want to avoid having to watch our children stumble. Every once in a while we get lucky and some children heed our warnings. Other times, we just have to give them some space and hope that our nurturing and teachings have made enough of an impact for them to eventually flourish. Children do absorb more than we realize – it just takes time to simmer.

I can still remember when I first held my baby. He was wrinkly, long, cute and white with blue eyes. He was the sweetest thing that ever was born; with his tiny feet and powder soft skin.

I used to watch him sleep all the time – so peaceful and relaxing.

Now, oh what I would do just to stand in the doorway one more night and watch him sleep.

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But, in the meantime, I move on and take care of me. I love him. I miss him, but what about me?

 

 

Light a Fire, Change a Life…

As the fourth of July approaches to fill our skies with fireworks, I’m reminded of how May rang out with its brilliance and June strolled in the same way. I was inspired over and over again.

I gave one of my inspirational ‘How I Got My Move On’ presentations for a group of women in Hartford on June 7th. The talk was very well received, and the level of client participation just knocked me out. By that, I mean to say that my heart is filled with hope. And though a move is upon me, my load feels light.

Here’s a brief clip. This is evidence that this time instead of Bill Cosby, I was the one on fire. Feel free to comment or ask any questions you may have.

http://youtu.be/sMMEWY5pXy0

Side note: I think the shirt makes me look pregnant, but I’m not.

So, as I look back on this experience and look forward to more after my shoulder has healed from surgery, I’m reminded of something I said recently. I posed the question as to whether or not my mother was looking down on me from the heavens and saying ‘that’s my girl.’ Well, right now, reflecting on what I have started in my life, I know she is. She was one who helped others and helped me. Without the love and support of such a great woman, I wouldn’t be able to help others. And now that helping others is my goal, I am sure my mother can see herself in my success. Thank you, mom. I miss you.

As I think back to June 7th, I remember how fulfilling it felt to know that I touched someone’s heart – to know that the dialogue has begun.

“I really appreciate her honesty and openess while sharing her story. I learned some great stuff. It was very informative,” said one of the participants.

So, if you have a group that needs inspiring, think of me.  I have been through many of my own trials and desperate times. They have made me someone who can relate to people at all stages of life’s journey. They have also made me proof of my own main premise; it’s never too late to get your life on track. I come loaded with treats, handouts, giveaways and a fun, free raffle with nice prizes. I create an interactive, fun atmosphere where people can be themselves.

Maya Angelou said, ‘As long as I am here, I will be of use.’ And I will also. I believe one of the reasons I was put on this earth is so that I could be here right now. It’s so that I could reach out and grab your hand and tell you that there are people out here that care. We can hold on to each other and pull until we are all standing straight.

 This is an excerpt from the talk. I designed and implemented it as an inspirational tool to help people (of all ages, sexes and races) with a variety of obstacles think about those roadblocks in a new way, thereby opening a dialogue about more realistic ways to overcome them. My talk is titled: How I Got My Move On: Coping Mechanisms and Goals. It’s about patterns/addictions and moving on.

That’s what I’m all about these days – ‘moving on.’