Mending and Ruminating

I’ve had my surgery. Ouch! Is the pain really supposed to be this bad? I thought they fixed it. Don’t mind me. Whenever I have surgery, I want the instant relief. Nothing in life works that way, but a girl can dream. It’s been over four weeks, and I know I have a long way to go. It’s just really hard not having the use of both arms.

This seems like a good time to share some things with you. I’m somewhat of an inspirational blogger on Cheshire.patch.com.  So, for the next few posts, I’ll share my favorites from The Patch.

Feel free to tell me what you think. And if you dare, share a related story.

I share this favorite first because I need to be reminded of how far I have come since that day in Marshalls. These thoughts still apply and the remembrance will help me survive my recovery process – which I loathe. Recovery is not fun.

In Reaching Distance

Posted on September 10, 2011 at 7:02 pm

 

During a few conversations with acquaintances and an editor, I was told, “why not consider being a motivational speaker or a life coach.”

I immediately thought, “Me?” What could I possibly offer someone, in terms of advice that is? Then I began to listen to myself as I spoke to friends and family. That’s when it hit me. I am a hopeful, inspirational voice in my circle.

So, now (in this blog) I venture out to share this voice with all that will listen – or read.

I’m a single mother of an estranged 20-year-old son, a displaced worker and a somewhat educated unmarried freelance writer. And yet, I am vehemently optimistic about my future. I have my bad days, like we all do. But most days, my goal is not to let the negative things in my life burden me to the point of insanity.

It’s all in the approach – the outlook. Regardless of where I am in my life, I do have a goal – a well laid out plan of attack. And each day, I awake with enthusiasm. Okay, maybe enthusiasm is too strong of a word. How about a determination?

I am determined to matter. I am determined to be happy and make my stand. How I do that is all in the attentiveness of my actions. Something as simple as coming up with a plan and executing it, whether or not I ultimately reach my goal, can be a useful tool in combating bleak outlooks.

Looking back to a conversation with one of my acquaintances, my advice was pretty sound and clear. For putting it on paper’s sake, let’s call her Lisa.

Trying to find that perfect interview top or just something for every day, Lisa and I comb through Marshall’s clearance section, all the while hoping that nothing fits because we can’t afford it anyway. As we both reach the middle of the aisle, she starts telling me of all her unrewarded job efforts.

Being over 50, unemployed and seeing the constant news of layoffs, Lisa was feeling hopeless. “This is the first time in my life that I wasn’t able to find a job right away. I always wanted to be an artist growing up. My dad said I had to do something practical – like accounting. So, I listened to him. Now look where I am.”

As I looked at her in all her despair, I smiled and said, “life will get better for you.” As she looked back at me, probably thinking “is she crazy”, I continued to tell her, “You can only do what you can – no more. So find some balance in your life. Get up every day, spend some of your day looking for a job (internet, library, newspapers, phone calls, etc.) and then spend part of your day only doing things you enjoy. Let these things include: books by favorite authors, going back to school, volunteering, favorite TV shows, relaxing, fun exercises, time alone, time with friends, etc. Our economy seems hopeless, but that you can’t fix. A lot of people are in the same position. Look at this time in your life as a time of rediscovery. You can be whoever you want to be.”

I look at it this way: we all have dreams of what we would love to be doing in life. And, unless that includes being superman or wonder woman, I’m pretty sure they are obtainable. So, stay true to yourself and the dreams you once had and go for it. Maybe even put up a few post-it notes around the house: I have many talents, we are all good at something, I’m gonna take a chance on me, my life is still unfolding, I still have time, I can succeed, etc.

It’s all about vision. As someone once said, “Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible.”

So, no more “same old routine.” It’s time to make a list. What are you good at? What do you want to do in life? What can you work on right now?

Then every day, from now until infinity, let’s start checking things off that list.

http://cheshire.patch.com/users/melissa-flynn-3

 

 

 

Hello world!

Month One – May 2012

Though my thoughts will mainly pertain to moving, I will also cover everyday topics – considering that my ‘other stuff’ affects my moving. Once or twice a month, I will ramble on about what ails me. If you are thinking ‘why should I care?’ let me answer that for you now.

We all go through trials in life. How we all deal with these things is unique. Knowing that we aren’t alone in our sufferings can be comforting to some. Others might just find some humor in it. What I wish to accomplish is to share my story, in the hopes of helping some to see that anything can be overcome. As life beats down on us, we get weary. But, if we keep trying to achieve our goals, we can make things happen.

So, I also want you to share. I welcome comments and thoughts. Even if you have a long anecdote to share, feel free. Let us keep in mind that I will not accept any profanity. We all have our limits; that is one of mine.

So, me and my moving? Yes, I’ve moved a few times. Okay. Maybe it was more than just a few. How about you? I find that moving keeps me sane. Sounds crazy, huh?

Well, I’ve recently moved again, and it’s only temporary. So, in between the packing, unpacking and settling in, I’m also looking for my next place. And, as I sit down to start this blog; I realize that I’m not ready to share.

I want to scream. I want to hide. I want to move on with my life. I want my relationship with my son to be better. I want the man that I love to love me back. I want someone to pay me to do a job that I love. I want to lose weight and be healthy. I want to move on.

Moving on means something different to everyone. For me, it doesn’t have to mean that I’m doing something different from what I currently am; it just means that I want to feel more fulfilled. The other day, I turned 43. Sometimes, I feel that is old. Other times, I feel I have many years before me. Today, I feel I’ve disappointed my deceased mom.

If she can see me, is she shaking her head in despair? Or, is she saying ‘that’s my daughter?’ I wish I knew. Then I could sleep better. I also wish I knew exactly how many days I have left on this earth. That way, I could plan better. I’m a planner. How can I move on if I don’t know how long I have?

I guess I have to plan without knowing the timeframe, since my answer will be too late.

So, back to moving. How many times have you moved? Were all your moves in the same town, state? Why have you moved? Do you always have help? Do you have to pay your help? Can you pay your help to help me? Did I go too far? Sorry, I had to try.

With all the work that you have to put into moving, I sometimes want to just throw all my things out. Or maybe I could just get one of those big trash dumpsters put in the driveway. I could dump all my things in it and burn it all. Pack my bag. Grab my laptop. Get in the car and drive off. Sounds easy enough, right?

I’m feeling overwhelmed. Maybe I need one of those life coaches. But, if they aren’t free, I guess I’m out of luck.

No cash. No savings. No help. Yet, somehow I have to move again.