Painfully Moving On

These last few weeks have been painful, and I mean that literally. Besides my ongoing shoulder issues, my left foot, my left ankle, my left hip and a bottom tooth have joined the ranks of ‘things that get on my nerves.’

Here is how it started.  A few weeks ago, I sat in my comfy chair – writing, as I do. Reclined with a window open, I enjoyed a bag of Stop and Shop brand Gummi Bears. I popped a red one in my mouth. Crunch?

“That’s weird.”

I ran to the bathroom mirror, only to see a bloody tooth hanging from the root. I guess that’s the last Gummi Bear that I will eat for a while. They were good though.

I’m sure you are thinking, “I need to know this because…?” Well, with my tooth extraction, tooth infection (dry socket) and the pain pills to heal me, my ‘moving on’ has been at a standstill.

That’s not 100% true. I am moving on in my relationships. I’ve told those who need to know that I’m done with the games. I’m done with the do-over’s.  I’m ready for the next chapter in my life.  Whether I like it or not, life is going to keep coming at me. As Grandma Malissia always said, “Life waits for no one.” So, ready or not, things will work out better if I join in.

It’s just the next apartment move that I haven’t done much with yet. I have another couple of months, but it will be here before I know it. And, this body of mine is not working with me. So, if anyone knows where I can get a new one, please share.

When I was 15 years old, I used to wish I could hurry and get older. That shows how much I knew. I had no idea that getter older meant physically getting older. I just thought it meant that I could make my own decisions; no one would be telling me what to do anymore. I could go to the store and buy whatever I wanted.  (That’s really funny, because I’m now thinking “with what money?”) I could see the world and meet famous people. NOT.

There should be a high school class called ‘What Life is Really Going to be like When You are an Adult.’

As an adult, I have seen the country and met lots of people – not necessarily famous people, just people. I don’t mean for that to sound trivial. I think people are what are important in this world. As I move on, I want to meet more people. That’s how you learn. And, I never want to stop learning.

Side note: The Middle and Modern Family — hilarious!

Anyway, as I was saying, I’m going to keep spreading the word that, pain and all, we must keep moving on and trying to see the world. Age is not supposed to be a hindrance to achieving ones goals. I think someone even said that “Life gets better with age.” Someone else said, “With age comes wisdom.” I guess I should meet these people and find out their secrets.

The holiday weekend upon us makes me think that most likely people are out there meeting new people, as I sit here typing. Obviously, I’m home. Not for long; as soon Tuesday gets here, I’m out. Things to do. People to see. Or, is it the other way around? Who knows?

So, for this weekend and post-surgery times to come, help me see the world through your eyes. Tell me where you have gone lately, and who you have talked to. Are you moving on? Or are you just moving? Either way, I’m curious.

I have a little over two weeks before my shoulder surgery, and I’m beginning to get really nervous. I feel like a kid who knows he is going to get a shot at the doctor’s office. My shoulder surgery is a bit more complicated than that, but the fear is the same. Part of my worry is the seclusion that comes afterwards. I think it might be bad if I were out driving after surgery with my left arm – seeing that I’m right-handed. Any thoughts? I’m a pro; I can handle it. I drive with my knees all the time. Oh, you know I’m just kidding, right?

I’ll be good though; I’ll stay in. But, my ‘moving on’ will continue. I may not be physically moving, but things still have to get sorted out. I’ll be searching for places and trying to find some money. By the way, I’m always open to ideas on where to find money. So, please don’t hold back on me. And, keep me in the loop with what’s going on. My mother always did say that I was the curious one.

Hello world!

Month One – May 2012

Though my thoughts will mainly pertain to moving, I will also cover everyday topics – considering that my ‘other stuff’ affects my moving. Once or twice a month, I will ramble on about what ails me. If you are thinking ‘why should I care?’ let me answer that for you now.

We all go through trials in life. How we all deal with these things is unique. Knowing that we aren’t alone in our sufferings can be comforting to some. Others might just find some humor in it. What I wish to accomplish is to share my story, in the hopes of helping some to see that anything can be overcome. As life beats down on us, we get weary. But, if we keep trying to achieve our goals, we can make things happen.

So, I also want you to share. I welcome comments and thoughts. Even if you have a long anecdote to share, feel free. Let us keep in mind that I will not accept any profanity. We all have our limits; that is one of mine.

So, me and my moving? Yes, I’ve moved a few times. Okay. Maybe it was more than just a few. How about you? I find that moving keeps me sane. Sounds crazy, huh?

Well, I’ve recently moved again, and it’s only temporary. So, in between the packing, unpacking and settling in, I’m also looking for my next place. And, as I sit down to start this blog; I realize that I’m not ready to share.

I want to scream. I want to hide. I want to move on with my life. I want my relationship with my son to be better. I want the man that I love to love me back. I want someone to pay me to do a job that I love. I want to lose weight and be healthy. I want to move on.

Moving on means something different to everyone. For me, it doesn’t have to mean that I’m doing something different from what I currently am; it just means that I want to feel more fulfilled. The other day, I turned 43. Sometimes, I feel that is old. Other times, I feel I have many years before me. Today, I feel I’ve disappointed my deceased mom.

If she can see me, is she shaking her head in despair? Or, is she saying ‘that’s my daughter?’ I wish I knew. Then I could sleep better. I also wish I knew exactly how many days I have left on this earth. That way, I could plan better. I’m a planner. How can I move on if I don’t know how long I have?

I guess I have to plan without knowing the timeframe, since my answer will be too late.

So, back to moving. How many times have you moved? Were all your moves in the same town, state? Why have you moved? Do you always have help? Do you have to pay your help? Can you pay your help to help me? Did I go too far? Sorry, I had to try.

With all the work that you have to put into moving, I sometimes want to just throw all my things out. Or maybe I could just get one of those big trash dumpsters put in the driveway. I could dump all my things in it and burn it all. Pack my bag. Grab my laptop. Get in the car and drive off. Sounds easy enough, right?

I’m feeling overwhelmed. Maybe I need one of those life coaches. But, if they aren’t free, I guess I’m out of luck.

No cash. No savings. No help. Yet, somehow I have to move again.